No Win Situations

Have you ever been placed in situations that you did everything the way it was suppose to be done and you still ended up the loser in the situation? I know I have and recently  I find myself in one that I know after rolling and re rolling it over in my mind, and analyzing what has happened and what will in the future that there is no winning for me in it.  To better explain it it has to do with the in-laws and my relationship with them, recently we took into our household our brother-in-law who is in many ways socially retarded due to how he was raised and the situation he has been in.  In doing this we have tried to do everything in our power to make his stay with us something good, but every good thing we do is met with hostility or entitlement which is then relayed to the parent in-laws.  Then when we try to better the situation and ask him to make changes to help us out it turns into us picking on him and being unreasonable which is then relayed to the in-laws.  There is no winning in this situation for us though it was something done to help the person out and as a favor we will be the ones painted in a bad light.  It is sad because I can honestly say I have tried every conceivable thing to make it work out better and for it to change but it is obvious it will not.  Moving forward as well we will be unable to do anything to fix it without out our reputation sullied.  Ridiculously as it may sound because everyone thinks every problem can be solved with all parties being happy in this situation it seems only one party will be happy and it wont be us.
Priming is a psychological concept in which minds are stirred to draw conclusions by the thoughts they have going into the situation.  This can be both a good and bad thing, in our situation it is a bad thing because our brother-in-law is leading our parents in law to believe one thing and once the thoughts have taken root they will always be there .  This leads me to wonder how often in our lives have these peoples first impressions or lead ins make situations no win for us in our everyday life.  I concur it is a very pessimistic way of looking at things. but think about how many times in your life someone tells someone something about you whether true or not and that is what everyone else believes about you moving forward.  When I was still going to college I participated in a study in which they used this concept to see how impressions affected how instructors graded their students. and unfortunately if you started the class as a bad student even though you started turning in exemplary work it took the instructor longer to begin giving you the grade you had earned not tinted with the biases of their first impressions of what kind of student you where.  They also found the bad first impressions where more lasting then good which makes sense.  Anyways just a few thoughts I had nothing of to big of note or life changing, just observations on the unjust world from an admitted pessimist needing to vent some. Thanks to all of you for your reading!