Digging those we Dig

The People in this world in many ways are nothing more than 2D pictures for us to browse through and gaze upon as we go throughout our daily chores and routines.  It is only when we stop while gazing upon this pictures and scenes before us  and we decide to pick up our metaphoric shovel and "Dig" into those individuals that they become 3D and a part of our world.  The more our thoughts and mind tug and pry at these images the deeper the depth of the individuals becomes and the more of ourselves fills those holes we have dug.  The mind itself catalogs every new thing we learn of these people making deeper pot holes for us to step into every time we see those individuals or hear mention of their names.  What was once just some person we saw at work sometimes, becomes the cute girl at work, becomes the girl I am friends with, becomes my girlfriend, becomes my fiance, if you catch my drift.  The more we dig those holes and get to know those individuals the more sweat and tears we have invested to them the more we fancy the work that has been done.  That huge pit which we fall into every time we gaze into that persons eyes was once just a spoon full of sand which we curiously decided to overturn to see what was underneath.  

The strangest part of it all isn't that these once 2D pictures became 3D facts of life, oh no it is that these holes which where dug were not dug into the people of our affection but in our very souls and existence.  Every bit of overturned sand can never be put back where we got it, no these pits are here to stay one can only learn not to twist their ankles in them as they pass them by.

eclectic thoughts

In times of peace children bury their fathers and in time of war fathers bury their children, a simple phrase with a deep sentiment.  In our lives isn't it true that when conflict and calamity arise our the new things in our lives are the first to go, our hopes and our dreams slide through our fingers as putty while those dreams of old and old habits creep back to the forefront.  How many well thought out dreams and ideas have been lost because of circumstance that would have if given the time and effort to mature changed their lives or even all of our lives.  Good seeds which if given the proper care and nurturing would have turned into large trees which fed and shaded both their creators and others alike.  It is thoughts like these that give me pause and make me wonder how much of the world I myself could have changed if I had followed through  and given the proper effort where that proper effort was due.  Life would be great if we could all go to some alchemist who would use his mortar and pestle  to concoct a potion that would allow us to have the proper motivation to pursue our goals and to stand in and stand up for those things which we let fall by the wayside because of our own pessimism and doubt. "Carpe Diem", drink your potion, do whatever you must do to make these dreams and ideas come to fruition, because time does not come in a bottle and neither does motivation.

"The leaf that slowly lands on the pond leaves few ripples, while the rock thrown into the pond makes ripples which can be felt on all corners of it."

Piracy is not always Piracy

"In life there is what a man can do, and what a man can't do" a great quote from Pirates does an awesome job illustrating life and our toil to get the things we want out of it.  Every time we make up our minds that we are going to do something there is a metaphorical line drawn in the sand that shows us what we are or aren't willing to do to complete that goal.  I think a pretty common trend with people is they tend to forget better or for worse what can be done in pursuit of our goals.  Propriety often can stand in a persons way from doing everything they could to achieve that which they have set there mind too.  For instance what would you be willing to do for a million dollar pay check? People have been killed for a lot less and people have done some unspeakable acts for the same.  So then we ask ourselves Ok so some pretty drastic measures  can be taken to achieve those goals but then we must ask ourselves how much of ones lives do they sacrifice for propriety.  How often must we sacrifice our own comforts so that someone else can be comfortable in the name of propriety? That I think is the very nature of the beast and the lesson of this story.   Life is and always has been a game of balancing these types of things and finding a happy medium.
I have wrote in the past of being placed in many situations in which I (being a person who always wants to be considered a nice guy) have had to be the bad guy for the sake of self preservation. For unfortunately not everyone in this world is willing to play by the same rules as me, there are those who are willing to take what I have worked so hard for, and live off of your sweat.  Therein lies the irony a Pirates going to do what a Pirates going to do, however is that going to dictate what I am going to do in a situation.  In a life filled with so many greys I seek not to muddy the waters but to give the advice that one must not always be the good man helping give others their dreams, but one must as a pirate be willing at times to steal another dream/or prolong their journey to their dreams so that they can in part partake of their own.  Sometimes an act of Piracy is simply someone taking that which rightfully belongs to them and making others wait their turn to find their own treasure. The adage "Nice Guys finish last" often rings true if one is not willing to bloody his/her sword when someone is taking what they have worked for.

Masks

Why would a man hiding from a blind man wear a mask, for what is a mask in its nature more than a way to hide ones face from the light which catches it and reflects their image to the eyes which consume them.  Moreover if a man is able to wear a mask to conceal its identity what other things in nature have masked themselves and their true identities from not only mans eyes but his senses.  For science has shown that more things exist than than we have the ability to sense and that these senses show us very little in the grand scope of the universe.  So what then might be hidden in the space between the space mirrored in our own perception, and if we had the ability to see in this space which is masked by the limits of what we are able to perceive and that which we are able to understand. 
 Have you ever considered why a person is unable to know what a person is thinking of, or why we cannot divine the entirety of a persons actions through looking at them.  So in our very nature to hide and conceal certain aspects of our lives from others.  Which means our very existence is a mask, and maybe  the very purpose of our existence is to see what this mask is hiding.  

Ones Cracking Soul Can Lead to a Shattered Existance

The initial trauma to a window or a pane of glass which chips it seems insignificant at the time and often leads us to initially curse it but then quickly forget it.  We get busy with our lives and other things and forget about the little nick in the glass which we can barely see, until one day the heat or cold which we spend an even smaller amount of time thinking about causes that little chip to spider web out into a large cracked surface which blocks our vision and begs to be dealt with.  This little fact of life reminds me of how life works, it tends to be a lot of sitting around surrounded by flurries of excitement and movement.  Things which where once new and seemed to be big problems for us to deal with get ignored or tolerated until the branch into things which are much bigger problems and  turn our lives upside down.  It makes one wish they had a crystal ball to gaze into  that could tell them which of these small problems in life will turn into larger and uglier monsters down the road so we can deal with them now.
How often to we as humans let this little cracks in our lives turn into our own shattered existence.

The Demons One Battles

Life is a fecal  thing, I have always gone through life looking for my place and what fate has in store for me hoping maybe that one day something would just hit me in the face and give the once mundane meaning, the once ordinary significance.  The more time that passes the more I have begun to think that life has a way of forcing your hand, and pushes you towards the demons and confrontations you so often try to run from.  In my life I have battled many demons both mighty and small and the more I face them it seems the stronger they become, and the more time goes on without those demons giving way to me the more likely I am to say to myself its not worth it.
It is very strange I have as I've said in the past always loved to delve into the cerebral and have always felt that my life always has meaning when there are some kind of puzzles to figure out, some riddle to both write and solve.  This however in my own mind seemed to be the driving force behind me thinking that would be my path and admittedly I always thought that is what made me unique.  Now I find that that life, fate, God, or whatever you want to call it has shown me that I was looking at the picture and not the hand that was creating it.  My need for riddles does not simply stem from my overactive mind needing stimulation, nor is it my curiosity and need to know the reason why, though they are part of my character and big portions of the underlying problem, they are not the hand or driving force behind it.
The underlying problem is my need for conflict and my need for battle as it were that fuels this flame which is such a big part of me.  When I worked in the Juvenile detention center I felt so full of life and as if I were making a difference in the world and had feelings of fulfillment helping them solve their own personal riddles.  There I helped those that I worked with do battle with there demons with themselves, with the demon that is themselves and with what makes them feel as demons in the first place.  In so doing as many warriors find I found that I was in many ways no different than those demons I faced,  For what I am to them they are to me, and what there nature is in this world is me.  Since I have left and since I have finished school I have been as a warrior with no war and one can only sit and sharpen their sword for so long until they lose their purpose and their will to fight.    For after all is a warrior without a war still a warrior?
Therein Lies the Paradigm in my or our battles with our own personal demons whether they be something tangible or something intangible  we are given our purpose which is to fight the demons.  When we back off and say I am tired of this battle, lets have some tea and crumpets we grow fat and tired and forget why we went to battle in the first place.  In so doing we lose our purpose, ourselves, and what we were "fighting" for.  This has become true to me in both a metaphorical sense and a literal one.

What is Time?

I know everyone has heard of all the cheesy talk about how there is no such thing as time, and that it is simply a way for humans to cope and schedule their lives, while it is that it is so much more.  When you think of what time is to an individual  and what it actually means to each of us you find yourself asking all sorts of altruistic questions, is time simply to me my life here on this earth or is it something more? Or when thinking of how time is described as a flowing river is here and now the ending point? Or are all of these things relative?
When I think of time it as it may you is a bit baffling because my past and memories are all in my head which makes my own personal history the most relevant.  Now becomes more of the actors currently on the stage and is so fleeting to comprehend.  In thinking of the future I picture a road in front of me leading somewhere and find myself how much that even matters anyways if for some reason tomorrow becomes my end,  Time truely is one of the more perplexing notions.
Having asked all these seemingly open ended questions I am struck by  the possible ramifications of each of those questions and as usual I must find a way to tie it back to my practical life or else it has no meaning.  I once heard that the presence or affects of Light and Energy shone or spent in our universe never end but continue on their coarse or path and this presence affects and shapes the whole universe.  Building off that thought or harnessing it I feel that our time is a bit like a torch/flashlight.  Our past being the butt end of the flashlight with the batteries and science which creates the lights and decides where it shines.  The present is like the lens in which all the energy is focusing its heat and light directing the coarse on which the light will shine, and like flashlight it is the hottest and most important part because of its relevance to the device.  The Future of course in this analogy is the light which shines from the light which in and of itself isn't tangible but its affects and purpose are felt by those around it the light that was shown never disappearing from the world but only spreading itself thinner and and having wider affect until it seemingly becomes a piece of the whole, much like how if you where to stand in front of a spot light it would be so light it would blind you but as you look up in the sky you see a much larger circle or less density but of farther influence.
Our time and our lives become like the flashlight the tangible portion of what we accomplish in our time. Through the use of that Flashlight/time we ourselves become a symbol of something much greater and having much more influence over this tangible world than we will ever fully realize.  That thought excites me, and helps motivate me to make my life and my time be something worth all that influence in which it garners.  Hopefully through my writing this it might become that for someone else as well.