In times of Autumn

Autumn has been my favorite season since I can remember, something about the entering of cold and leafs changing or maybe it's because autumn are the feelings that comfort me most.  The world begins to cool, the trees prepare to sleep, and the transition to winter begins.  If a year was a life autumn world be the time in which the world transitions from times of plenty to times of harshness, in a symbolic sense the entering cold and changing leaves in a sense tell us to get our ducks in a row and to prepare for times of winter.  The days begin to shorten and the suns reign over the earth loosens for the remainder of the year leaving man to wonder in more darkness than light. A tree one of nature most beautiful things must prepare for winter by shedding that which makes it beautiful leaving only the most solid and essential to ready for the sleep of winter.  We in turn as the tree when times get difficult must choose which beautiful yet non-essential things we will sacrifice to make it through the harshness of winter in our lives.  With all the colorful and interesting fluff we surround ourselves with in our lives I find it interesting what one man first sacrifices whilst another clings too, putting things in there own order when one must begin to tighten up their belt for sacrifice is needed.
We read many stories of in olden times villages would have individuals draw lots and whomever was unlucky enough they would be the thing sacrificed to appease the powers that be so the harvest would be bounteous and the needs of winter met (as in the music video).  Extreme and considered harsh as it was we in this day and age have troubles sacrificing things which are not needs yet things which are wanted, how then will we all make it through our own personal winters.
One must unless wanting to be caught off guard think of what things must first be taken to the alter of fate in hopes of having a big enough harvest to make it through a life, as the seasons with many winters. Choose now or have the hands of time as the seasons change choose for you, making the possibility of  anything in your life being left behind.  Would one sacrifice a husband for the betterment of a child's life, sacrifice a meal so that a stranger can eat, break the law so one can live knowing the wrath of the establishment will be upon them, Put others through emotional turmoil to preserve their own emotional stability etc... All that has been said sounds "so cold" but life itself was never meant to be lived only in the heat. Life cannot always be "times of plenty"  as the seasons change so will our lives.  Emotions will flow, time will decay, seasons will change, and there will always be times of Autumn.

Deceiving Deception

Deception the act of deceiving someone from seeing or knowing something.  Everyone knows people who have problems with trying to mislead others so that they will be perceived different than in all actuality they are.   Whether it is the girl from grade school who tells everyone that her boy friend is the teenage heart throb  from TV, or it's someone trying to hide what they have done from others, the result are generally the same.  More often then not people start to realize the one plus one of what there saying isn't equaling two and the person is then met by more skepticism by their peers, and even themselves.  These are are few of the more known side effects of telling fibs this is however just a part of the picture.
Perhaps you have met pathological liars, people who cannot tell the truth and don't even know they are lying.  The science behind this phenomena is that when a person tells lies the begin feeding the creative side of their brains, and like we have mentioned before on this blog when a action is performed over and over in the mind it starts to become a habit, or in the case of trying to remember your lies it becomes more and more ingrained in your mind so that the individual actually forgets what actually happens in the situation and then begins to actually believe in the lie.  This begins breaking the individuals hold on reality so mush so that everything that happens in the individuals life begins to become much bigger to the individual, they begin making mountains out of molehills not fully grasping reality in their lives.  They begin to believe their own lies, about themselves, and begin selectively viewing their world to see what they want to see instead of what they actually see.  Over long periods of time this begins to tax on and tax on the mind so that the mind forgets reality itself and begins to believe even the random thoughts the individual has.  For instance if the individual looks at scenery and things wouldn't it be scary it there were faces of people everywhere who were out to get me the mind itself begins to believe it and this quickly begins to snowball into irrational fear, and the mind will play along even to the point of seeing the very thing the individual thought of in the first place. As in the photo above where you can see faces everywhere watching you staring at you because you have trained your mind to pick our the distinct patterns of faces and what makes them up, In much the same way people can train themselves to not see things, to believe things, and perceive things are there that are in fact not. This is why we have so many needing to be institutionalized and treated for these types of things.  
It is a chilling thought that the more and more you think of something the more likely you are to actually experience that very thing you are thinking of. Personality splits, hallucinations, etc. are all byproducts of people getting tangled in their own webs of deception.  The mind has door ways that if people push against them for too long they will open and one will never be able to shut them again.  If one keeps hiding portions of themselves and their actions from others they will in fact begin to lose themselves underneath, and the more one loses themselves to the darkness the less "real" life itself it becomes as if one were living in a dream.  The problem with deceiving oneself that they are living in a dream where anything can happen is, that if one lives in dreams, some dreams are nightmares . 

Bottling Lightning

"It is easier for a man to move a mountain with a shovel, than to change someone who doesn't want to change."
If you are trying to find a way to stay motivated to make a change in your life, or to pursue a dream one must first find a reason to do so and use  that to power their effort. This is a very hard and difficult task, which is why so many people fail to change their lives and accomplish their goals. Many people think that sense of purpose and motivation is going to fall out of the sky and striking them as lightning and charge them up and next thing they know they have accomplished Their goals.  In truth however that motivation is about as likely to come from the heavens (without work on a persons part) as they are likely to be struck by lightning.
Due to this fact one must then be able to bottle their own lightning and be able to draw upon it to give them the jolt or shock needed to do what they need done. Lightning, which is one of the most powerful occurrences in nature, is not easy to come by from within. This is why in mythology the mighty Zeus was said to throw lightning at his enemies which shows this power as God-like in nature.  Even though there is energy and electrical currents running through  our bodies at any given time, one cannot simply harness that power they must find it another way.  This is done through introspection and finding what forms of energy have given you that shock before.  Once you have found it one must find the reason why, or what was so appealing about it that gave them motivation in the first place.  Be forewarned, this is not something that is simply done and one must put much thought and contemplation into it.  Most people use others as their form of motivation saying things like' "Ill do it for my mom, or for my children", this however is a fickle motivator. For what happens if you have an argument with your motivational loved one? In that moment you will lose all motivation derived from them.
The Greatest motivations are ones that come from within oneself.  Often religious or deep in nature they are ones that can never be taken away and that reach the individual so deeply that they cannot or will not turn away from there responsibilities.   In a sense as bottling lighting would be in the natural world is extremely difficult, such is the same with with finding these motivators.  Everyone in the world has motivations for whatever they do, however there is a big difference in motivation which turns out to be just a little static and another with is flung lightning bolts harnessed and placed in a bottle for a rainy day.

The Perfect Parasite

That which helps us skew or change our perception of life, bends not only perception itself but bends the very core of the individual who has the perception.  In this day and age it seems that everyone needs/wants to break away from the reality of this world which is their lives and live in a place where action and reaction are buffered.  The drug addict seeks to see the world outside of their norm so that the reality of there lives carries less weight on their conscientious mind. In so doing a rift in their fabric is created and the more it is fed the hungrier it becomes.  For as in nature, rips and tares happen in places in which there has already been damage or wounds, taking the path of least resistance.  The drug or addiction becomes symbiotic with these damaged portions of the individual. The individual begins thinking that by feeding this desire the emptiness within them with these perception skewers their holes will be mended.  The more they are fed the more they like a parasite gain strength while weakening and opening the holes wider. In a sense the more that is given to them the more that which made the individual the individual begins to die.  In "The Perfect Drug" by NIN he compares drugs and addiction to love, and destructive relationships (which happen in both cases).  The Parallels between both or astounding and it helps you realize the properties of both.  This song (other than finishing the string of music videos which have industrial time period themes you'll see if you go back through them) shows this symbiotic relationship through it's music and lyrics, and how one can becomes consumed by it.
The more ones wounds grow the more powerless and weak the individual begins to come to their cravings and the more likely they are to do rash things and to not be able to return from the place their minds and souls have been taken.  The individual (whether knowingly or not) is treating their own inadequacies with fuel to the fire instead of adding water.  This symbiotic relationship ends when as all of these types of relationships do, one stops feeding the other.  The less the parasite/addiction is fed the less of a hold it has on the individual until one day it dries up and falls dead to the ground leaving the huge holes it has made. This hole left behind must always be filled by something.  It is so important for an individual to recognize  their emptiness and try to find what causes it so they are not letting parasites into their lives, this is true for lovers and drugs.  For (as in the song) the more one gives up themselves to someone or something the more they die as an individual.  The more of themselves they give up the more they lose themselves and track of the problems which originally fed the parasite in the first place. 

Chained Up or Chained Down

We run through life and bump into others who at times we decide to chain to ourselves, and time only tells whether we have chained ourselves to an anvil which pulls us to the bottom of the ocean, or to a balloon which lifts us into the sky.  Life's relationships, our friends,and associates our not only enrich or add value to our lives, but become a defining factor in our lives.  I once read a study in which they said that 80 % of relationships which are formed never change the base principles on which they are formed.  This means that if you met  a friend drinking in a pub one night, your relationship will more than likely be grounded on drinking and that will be a big portion of what is done in your relationship. Friends, spouses, lovers, family, and each of our relationships are based off of something and it is "that" something which comes to define our relationship. This is why when you go back to say a high school reunion or meet on old friend you will find yourself reverting to thinking and acting around your old classmates/friends the same ways you did back when you knew them.  This as in many other things in life is a double edge sword.
Each of us I am sure have friends or loved ones who have relationships with partners that we just don't understand appeal "why would they would ever stay together with them?"  These friends/loved ones make excuses for seemingly inexcusable behavior in their partners.  These people (as being chained to a anvil) will do nothing but pull the person whom they are chained to down, and for whatever reason they can't see it or over look it.  If we each think logically about our relationships with others we can tell which ones are duds and which pull us down.  Often times individuals will know they are in a bad situation and instead of chewing their paw off to get out of the trap it is caught in, they try to incorporate their lives around it.
One should think of each relationship that they form as the beginning of the journey, and be mindful of how the person they have chained themselves to will affect that journey.  Smashing Pumpkins music video "Tonight Tonight" is a great depiction of this.  In the beginning we see a freshly married couple heading in a journey in a Zeppelin to the Moon.  The music video is great because it illustrates how much help having a positive individual chained to you can be, and all the turbulent and green alien filled times they can help you through.  Would the person your chained too be one which as in the video you could count on the help you break through the rope tied around you both.  In the study which I mentioned before they also talked of how couples which are based off of drug use seemingly never, and I mean never are able to have both partners get off and stay off of drugs.  It takes a lot to break that rope especially as a couple because you both must be exerting yourselves, and in these relationships on often gives up and stops trying which leads the other to either cut off the relationship with the other or remain bond with their partner in addiction.
In short every relationship is in a Zeppelin headed somewhere when it is started, one would be wise to think logically where it is headed, and where that is a place they want to go.

Those Who Walk the Gray

In life there are those who like to paint the world in white and black, simply there are those who are good and those who are evil.  This is all fine and dandy in an ideal world, however in the actual world we now live in this cannot be the case.  For as any painter will tell you white must take on many tints of grey before it can reach black, which is also the case in those going from black to white.  This means in this world there must be men who walk in the grey as it were.    It also implies that in order for there to be men who have lived chaste lives there must be others on the periphery shielding those from the darkness.  In a world with war and crime, and so many evil acts there must be those who deal with it and in so doing sully their hands in its soot so that others can be soot free.  The man who must commit murder to protect his family, the cop who must witness evil to catch those who perpetrate it, there must be those who reach forth their hands and pull those back from the darkness sullying there own hands, etc.
Many of those who have been fortunate to live "chaste" lives, and can paint there world in black and white will see those who walk the grey and scoff in altruism ways forgetting or even not knowing the soot which covers some was sprinkled on them so that they themselves didn't have to be.  Ironically it is the very fact that they walk the grey that attracts those of the dark to them, giving them influence over some who might be considered lost, dragging them back into the white.  The white see the soot and say don't go near him he's dirty, while the dark say hey maybe he isn't so bad he has soot on him as well.  So one who walks the grey will have influence for good where others will not.  This however is a double edge sword in that when you are on the periphery you are constantly in a state of battle and as we know this battle claims many a soul.

How One Angles Their Prism

 As a prism, we cannot choose what kind of light the sun shines at us, but we can choose how much of that to consume or let become a rainbow on the wall for others to enjoy.  I often have wondered "why a rainbow" it is simply compressing and projecting that which is already there, therein lies the beauty of the prism.  Beauty is found in things that are already all around us, whether we care to look for it or not. When one simply focuses on all that is wrong in their lives or all the darkness that surrounds them it is the same as a prism which never let the light out of it. There is only so much darkening it (or we)can handle before it explodes in the heat it contains. Life is as the light which exudes from the sun and comes at you from every angle imaginable. It will hit you and affect you differently depending upon what angle you are standing at.  For instance, if one stands with their heads facing the sun they get the full brunt of it yet they know its brightness. While if they stand with their backs towards the sun they may find some solace  that the sun is isn't directly in there eyes, but that doesn't keep them  from scorching their backside (pun intended).
As light shines through the prism it becomes magnified, just as when our lives and happenings around us are soaked into our minds we choose what part of that light to magnify and blow up out of proportion, sometimes that is something good for us while other times that is something bad.  Often times the light which bounces out of us is the opposite of the light which we ourselves consume.  Some people choose to consume all the light and happy colors while bouncing out their darkness, yet others choose to strewn the happy bright colors on the wall while their souls are filled with their darkness.
For a healthy mind and soul, one should as  the prism which hangs from the window show others/ allow others to see the full spectrum of the light which life gives them. For if one only cares to shine light on the wall they will surely miss it when the wall shines the rainbow back to their prism.

Advice I Wish I Could Have Given

After much reflection and much thought on the happenings of the last few days I have decided that there are times when words cannot express, nor can one comprehend the ramifications of being a human being in this world. For at time it seems its only purpose to be to break and decay everything that enters it. This life is often times filled with times where all you can do is bite down on your lip and just bare it until the pain passes then try and move on with your life. At times I find myself asking why live in a world that is so hard? why not just give up? I have had friends and loved ones (one quite recently) that have done just that, but after you claw yourself through those hard times you begin to know that times of evil are followed with times of good and times of darkness are followed by the dawning of light. If you make it through those times of weakness you become the strongest you have ever been in your life, a strength which even you yourself cannot deny.  In those dark times however long they may last hold onto yourself, and know that people love you and are willing to help you or provide a little solace in times when the storm rages around you.  For each of us were babies once held tight to the mother that adores us, and no mothers love deserves to be answered with our empty bed, no friend who once made us laugh and who we shared some of our happiest times with deserves to not have us there when they call our house, and most importantly of all we deserve to see what our own lives have in store, witness our own strength, see our next sunrise, and be ourselves until our sun naturally sets.   For you see the beauty in life is not found in the lightest nor darkest of times which are fleeting times that one cannot truly appreciate without the other, no the beauty in life is knowing you are yourself  and that you can enjoy one and survive the other.
I think the song "Be yourself" by Audio-slave lyrically and melodically embodies this idea perfectly

Someone falls to pieces sleeping all alone
Someone kills the pain
Spinning in the silence
She finally drifts away
Someone gets excited in a chapel yard
Catches a bouquet
Another lays a dozen
White roses on a grave

And to be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do

Someone finds salvation in everyone
Another only pain
Someone tries to hide himself
Down inside himself he prays
Someone swears his true love until the end of time
Another runs away
Separate or united
Healthy or insane
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/a/audioslave/be+yourself_10017570.html ]
And to be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do

Even when you've paid enough
Been pulled apart or been held up
With every single memory of
The good or bad, faces of luck
Don't lose any sleep tonight
I'm sure everything will end up alright
You may win or lose

But to be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can
Be yourself is all that you can
Be yourself is all that you can do