We search for we, I search for me

As in every story we start our lives young and full of wonder dreaming of adult hood and where our lives will take us.  When we begin to get a little bit older we start to worry more about finding our niche, our place in the suddenly confusing world. Having been taught from a young age that every person is special, and having read all the fairy tales we are sure greatness is in store for us and that the sky is the limit for us and our potential.  This wonderment then turns into a kind of quest for each and every one of us to find that greatness, to search out our own fairy tale and where it will take us.  This quest for ourselves (or a better version of ourselves) can fill our lives and before we know it we are adults and while we feel we should have found that version of ourselves it remains elusive. 

 Much like in the Used music video for “All that I got,” we find ourselves looking for "the ending"and : the happily ever after" we have read so much about not realizing that we may be in a totally different kind of book and that our story may not be of one who achieves it.  Like in the video we become the boy who is searching for how the book ends and this elusive character who seems to have all the answers to his questions. Like we do in life, we want to know all the good parts of our book without enduring the parts which lead up to it.  In the end of the video we find that this man who had the answers to all the boy's questions was just an older version of himself looking for the same thing. So he in turn became the very thing he was searching for, and as has been said so many times before be careful what you wish for.    All along (as in life) the answer to the boys question was in himself and he was the answer, such is life.

We are born into this world alone, and we leave this world the same way and while those closest to us will be most affected by our passing the world will by and large stay the same for all of those who remain.  If we spend too much of our time chasing white rabbits (or old men as in the music video) we ourselves will become these white rabbits (and old men) and we will have forgotten why we began our search in the first place.  This is why it is so important that we realize that it is important to be careful what you search for, and that we realize that life is about the journey not the destination.  That the answers do not matter unless we can achieve them ourselves, for we are born into this world the same as we leave this world with everything we need to achieve our dreams.  As in the music video we are the answers to our own questions and the author of our own lives.

The Cowled One

For a bit of a change-up and to explain my new picture in my theme for the blog I thought I would let everyone know what it means.  I had asked many people with more artistic prowess to help me do a Cowled Crow for my blog to tie the theme together, but after it appeared that no one was interested in doing one for me I decided to do it myself. Things I draw always end up being very cartooney and because I had to do it in the basic paint program on the computer it is even more so and for that I apologize, but one good thing comes from me drawing my own picture, and that is that I could incorporate many different symbolism which anyone who reads this blog knows I love. To start the picture is of coarse of a Crow wearing a cowl, which if you want more of the symbolism and  the reason why it was chosen as my moniker I would suggest reading my blog titled The Cowled Crow in a Nut-shell.  With that being said I as a crow am eclectic in the things I like and I like to collect shiny objects which I incorporated into the picture.  Continuing to focus on the Crow itself other than the cowl/cape you may have noticed the Shoes or gloves that is one of the few things that was not meant to have any significance other than the fact that it helps the ascetics of the overall image.  The next thing that should stand out is the Red Star which in-capsules the eye, the first point as I said earlier which ties into that is the fact that I as a crow am attracted to shiny objects that are interested to me while maybe not to others and I as a crow take them back to my nest and collect them the blog itself serves as the nest symbolically.  It also has to do with one of my favorite sayings that there are those who stare at the clouds in the daylight son and those who stare at the stars at night in the light of the moon.  From this short saying I have always considered myself one who gazes at stars symbolically because of my pessimist nature and because of all the things that night stands for.  It is red in color because red is often used to symbolize ones motivation.
   Stepping outside of the crow which is in the picture you may have noticed many seemingly random objects which surround the cowled crow.  The first of which we will spotlight is the Venus-fly trap looking things in the bottom left hand corner, which have a very Mario-brothers-esk vibe.  if you look closer you can see one is feeding on the cowled crow and as we know plants are alive so it ties together with life feeding life which has many parallels to time and the world always devouring those subject to it(there are a few other more personal reasons for the number and colors of each one).  Then in the top left had corner we have the circle within a circle within a circle, with a star in the middle.  If you know about fencing, this symbolizes area of mastery it is said the more efficient the swordsman's motion the more deadly they are and the smaller their circle is because the less motion that is needed to have the same effect.  We see the red star in the center again having to do with this being another of my motivations not swordsmanship of coarse but personal mastery of my own life.  You may have also noticed that when the this design is viewed as a whole it looks like a shield that has been distressed, this is because I feel with every experience and every hardship that is overcome the individual enduring them is stronger for it yet the scars will always remain.  On the right hand portion of the picture  there is alot different elements we will start with the smaller of these first.  There is a mortar and pestle which has been used by alchemists and all kinds of healers throughout history.  The Mortar and pestle is used to break down different elements so they can be used to heal or in a concoction, this has much to do with do with the process of deduction and my psychological roots in that we break things down into there components so that we can get a better picture of the whole.  On the same theme we see next to the mortar and pestle we see a vial of poison, which can be made by the mortar and pestle.  This has to do with these skills being a double edge sword in that they are one of my biggest strengths while they have also led me to depression and other maladies in my life.  The poison also has to do with the thoughts of death and how I feel a person as in times of old must think of there own impending death to truly appreciate there lives and to keep themselves honest with themselves and others.
Lastly we have the staff which has more symbolism then I care to go into, but we know that staffs have to do with those who wield magic, and magic I think is knowing something or being able to do something that others cannot which leads to mystery about the individual whose it is.  The staff is is topped with a crystal which is a geometric shape working in cohesion and complexity to make the beautiful whole which I feel is the same as people.  And crystals like people appear perfect until you get up close and you realize they like people are always flawed but beautiful none the less.(Purple has some symbolism to but for sake of space as other things I wont include it). The feather as often portray in different forms is symbolic of the freedom all mans ability to chose, however we see that this is tethered to the staff as we each are as free as our beliefs and morals will let us be.
Okay that was much longer than I intended it to be and the sad thing is I could have gone in deeper, I hope at least someone enjoys delving a little bit into my train of thought enough to read it. As always I enjoy writing it and I hope someday someone will enjoy reading it.

Speak No Evil, See No Evil, Hear No Evil

The Speak No Evil, See No Evil, Hear No Evil apes or the mystic monkeys as they have been called depict a very novel and ancient concept one that I have been fascinated with for a long time now.  They are often used to depict societies in which people turn a blind eye towards crime and general depravity which is tolerated by that society.  The original thought behind them was that a man without guile in his heart will never speak, hear, or see the evil that surrounds them.   This definition however can be a bit misleading because it is not talking about naivety.  Naivety can shield a person from the harshness of the world, and the reason for this is simple when you are looking for only the good in people you will be oblivious to their nefarious nature.    For instance when you see a man walking down the street there are two ways the man can be looked at and it is a person experience that determines how it is seen.  If the man were looking very closely at the houses as he walked by one could say well these houses are very nice and this is a nice neighborhood he is probably just marveling at how astatically pleasing it is, on the flip side one might have noticed that the man had a very slight build and have assumed that man must be looking for something to steal so he can pawn it off for some drugs.   Since for inquisitive people like me this is impossible, and the fact that monkeys are used to symbolize it which are some of the most inquisitive animals in the world, this leads me to believe the saying resembles the statement “Seek No Evil” in that it has more to do with intent and it gives you some good concepts to live by. 

Speak No Evil (Iwazaru, the monkey’s name in case you were wondering), , speaking is one of our only ways to communicate with the world and if you put the two together it means one should influence the world in a positive way, because everyone influences the world in some way. 

See No Evil (Mizaru) , eyes have to do with what a person “looks” for out of any situation, If your looking to find ways to better yourself and your situation at all times much of the negativity one can view or see is taken as cautionary instead of instructional. 

Hear No Evil (Kikazaru), Listening is the primary receptor for communication and as said earlier communication is how influence is made, in that respect it is talking about how a person is influenced by others and the world one should never let themselves to influenced into “Evil” .  The mind is an amazing thing and can filter out all information we are given and can predict possible outcomes to any given situation, most of lives problems could be avoided with simply thinking of things in terms of cause and effect.

The Troll Under Your Bridge

I'm sure most people know of the story of the "Billy Goat Gruff" and the Troll under the bridge. To refresh the minds of those who's it is not at the forefront it is the story of three goats who are told not to travel over a bridge.  They are told not to travel over the bridge because a hungry troll lives under the bridge and his next meal is those unfortunate enough to cross the bridge. It becomes a case of "the grass is greener on the other side of" in this case the bridge and the goats end up venturing a cross.  The story then follows the Troll as he stops the smallest goat and is going to eat him then the little goat tells of his older brother who is bigger and a better meal, which also happens when the second brother comes along as well.  Lastly the big Billy Goat Gruff comes along and he is too big for the troll to handle and knocks the troll off the bridge and into the river.  This is in all generality a "grass is always greener/ don't bite off more than you can chew" type of story when looked at and painted with a very simplistic brush. When broke down a little bit more and when looked at symbolically one can see many more parallels to everyday life.

Trolls in modern ages are no different than the ones in the fairy tales, I am sure that everyone has a troll in their neighborhood.  Whether its the guy who yells at the kids passing by for walking on his lawn, or the one who poisons the neighborhood cats because they keep crapping on his property.  The person in your neighborhood that just seems to want nothing to do with anyone else and always seems to hate everything under the sun.  It is easy to write these people off as just the neighborhood crazies, but in many ways we each could be considered trolls at different times in our lives.  Much like in the story we sit around waiting to hear the clippity clappity of little hoofs crossing our bridges so we can lash out and make our presence known to them.  Sure we may not be looking to eat a meal as the troll in the story, but our own versions of the troll take the more modern view of them as people who "Troll" discussion boards looking to illicit responses from others and give others a hard time.

We each have built bridges for others to cross over in our minds and we do so when we decide that if someone were ever to do such and such thing we would be angry.  For example I know (and have decided) that if I were ever to see someone vandalizing my house I would be forced to confront them and in all probability attack them.  For in our minds we draw lines in the sand and decide when and what situations we would be justified to act certain ways, to go crazy on someone, to chew someone out, to force our wills on others.  When thinking of this fact it is no wonder why there is so much conflict in this world, when everyone has there own set of rules which they live by.   How much better would the world be if there was less of these premeditated responses to situations? It can be agreed at times its a good thing while at other times it is not so much. It is in this way that we have made our bridges for other unsuspecting victims to accidentally stumble on to with us waiting so patiently to pounce.  Whether the situation is socially acceptable such as tackling a mugger or not like poisoning the neighbors cat, we each become a troll lying in wait under our own personal bridges. "Man can never be truly free when one day the troll under his bridge will be me, and mine he."